The Eira of My Ways

Roza Agecoutay Blog, Humor

Portrait of Funny Burmese Kitten Lick with tongue Tasty on White Background, front view

Portrait of Funny Burmese Kitten Lick with tongue Tasty on White Background, front view

“Hi Murray”

“Oh, hi Brad, come on in.”

“Did I catch you at bad time?

“Not at all – I always have time for our ‘groovy-socks’ marketer. By the way, what are you sporting today?”

“Look.”

“Wow… and they got all the planets on them as well!”

“Yes, its part of my interstellar collection.”

“Wow. That’s interesting. I would think Mars and Saturn would be pretty neat. But make sure you give me a heads up on the day set for Uranus.”

“Yes… okay. Always a joker. But on a serious note, I wanted to come in a talk with you about your blogging.”

“My blogging?”

“Yes. I am a little uncomfortable telling you this. But I have to. You said that we all had to be honest and authentic with one another, right?”

“Yes, I did. Okay… get it out.”

“I have been speaking and working with a lot of SEO experts – had lunch with a Google Ad Words executive, and listened to a class studying Social Media at our local college. It ends up that no one really reads you blogs.”

“Really?”

“Yes, they have figured out that your blogs are only being read by your dad, occasionally by your brothers, and one lady from the Kinsmen Retirement House in Tsawwassen who accidentally arrives on it looking for the TV schedule for Coronation Street. There just doesn’t appear to be an audience for your style of writing.”

“But Brad, it says that I have, like, over 100 followers. These are real people – people who don’t have much to do and like the intellectual meanderings of an overwrought software executive that works for a small… but EMERGING, GREAT software company. A company building a transportation management software system that is going to change the world, Brad. Change the world!”

“Yes, I know. I feel that sense of purpose, sense of mission – but somehow that isn’t translating to the audience.”

“Why not? I put a lot of thought into these, Brad. Sometimes when I am doing chores around the house – like taking out the recycling – BaDing! – there it is – an idea for a blog. Or I am watching my son play baseball and end up watching a bird go by – and ‘Poof!”… l…”

“…You get your ideas that way?”

“No… it’s just that the bird crapped on my shirt, and some lady had a napkin and gave it to me. And as I was cleaning up I got an idea for a blog. But as you can see, Brad, I put a lot of forethought and planning into my blogs. I feel honored to be able to add some insight to the transportation management software industry in ways that others might not understand, or care to understand.”

“Contributing by… and understand, what?”

“Well, I don’t know exactly, but it certainly sounded good. Brad, you have to understand this. If we can move countries and warn of nuclear annihilation all in a 140-character tweet, then by golly I shouldn’t have to explain exactly every little detail of every line of all my blogs. It’s not like I just sit down and decide to write and then see where the darn thing takes me, Brad.

By the way Brad, did you know Bard is an anagram of Brad, right? I could be like the ‘Bard of Transportation Logistics software.

 ‘To ship or not to ship that is the question. Whether t’is nobler to suffer the slings and arrows of the spot market, or to contract. That is the question.’

What do you think?”

“Well, I don’t know. Um… I don’t know what to think actually.  But that was the point all of these people had. They were looking for some singular line of thinking. Your values perhaps, your strategic insight – something that tied all your writing together. One of the SEO strategists said it this way.

How the heck do you find and overarching theory in blogs like.

A Load of Malarkey

I Can’t Get No SaaS-ification

A Whole Load of Bother

 

“And what’s wrong with that, Brad. It’s not like I just came up with these things out of the blue. They get tested first.”

“What? You test them first?”

“Yup.”

“How?”

“I run them by Eira the Cat. She looks a me and listens a bit. Sometimes she will turn her head or meow. If she does this I run with the concept. But If she closes her eyes and lays down and goes to sleep, I kill the blog. Cats sleep 18 hours a day, Brad. So, you see how many blogs I kill before they get through the filter.”

“Um… um… so you test your blogging on a cat? YOU ACTUALLY TEST YOUR BLOGGING ON YOUR CAT?”

“Yes, but I don’t want that secret to come out. And certainly not on my blog”.

“You test your blog ideas on your cat? You have to be kidding me!”

“We don’t have to tell anybody about this, Brad. It can be like the ‘Colonel’s Secret Recipe of 7 Herbs and Spices’ or the ‘Recipe for Coke’, and ‘how Barbie maintains her trim figure despite 70 years of aging.”

“Oh my, if people hear this one, they are going to wonder how you can possibly run a coherent transportation management software business. Oh my gosh.”

“Brad, relax. Don’t sweat it.  Take a few minutes and go over and help the guys with some of the coding. When I get worried I just go in there and pound on the Ampersand button. Nice stress reliever”

“A cat… he runs them by his cat… his  cat…”

“Brad, like this…. &-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-…”

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