Straight Out of Combustion

“Yo …..Hip Hop Truckin’”

“Um… well, ah… ah… I am just wanting to find the status of my load”

“Well it’s on its way

To East L.A.

It left San Jose

Just Yesterday.”

“Yes… thanks… but do you know when it’s going to arrive.”

“Your big old load

Well it’s on the road

Our driver’s in the mode

Do you got your code?”

“Yes… I do in fact… I think my shipment number is AX38746

“Well I’ll look that up

And I’ll phone the truck

And I’ll dial him up

And ask ‘whassup’?”

“Like – don’t you have like a trucking software system where you can get automatic updates on the status of your trucks and their trailers so that you don’t have to bother the driver?  I am assuming with all that new regulation you guys would have GPS and stuff like elogs.”

“What you tell’n me dawg?

I don’t need some flog

From some big ole’ dog

Whose never driven’ hog.”

“I wasn’t trying to insult you. I am the customer after all. I just figured you guys would have the latest in dispatching software technology so you could service your customers better and remain you could be compliant with government regulations… regulations like say IFTA and Hours of Sleep.”

“We got guys who sleep

And we got guys who reap

And we go real deep

Are you the Veep?”

“Well… I am an Ops Manager, but I really need to know the status of our shipments, and track our on time performance with our customers.”

“Well, we got the form

And we do perform

So don’t be forlorn

I’ll call my driver, Lorne.

I’d like to keep you in the fold

That’s what I’ve been told

If I can be so bold

Will you stay on the Hold?”

“Okay… I will just wait on the line here and listen to the music…”

< “Once I was 7 years old… my momma told me go make some friends or you’ll be lonely…it’s a big big world…>

“I got a hold of Lorne

And he was giving horn

To some guy haulin’ corn

But it’ll be there by morn.”

“Thanks… make sure you send me the Invoice and please include the POD.”

“Yo… you get your POD

Hip Hop boys don’t like the Free

That’s why we charge a fee

Thanks… it’s Load- Zee!”