President label

Mr. President! Mr. President!


“Ladies and gentlemen of the press. The President of Tailwind will be joining us shortly. You will be entitled to ask one question. If the President calls upon you, we will hover the boom mike over you. This conference briefing will last 20- minutes.”

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Press

“The President of Tailwind Software”


“Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for disjoining me this morning. Sorry about the mix-up there. I thought they were going to play Hail to the Chief…but I hope you didn’t mind. I guess…ah..I guess it is 5 o’clock somewhere though.

I am exited to start my second 6 months as President of Tailwind. I will now call on members of the press for questions. ..Judy…you first”

“Mr. President. It was reported that WikiLoads had hacked into your email account and found out that you were really quite inept and poor at running a business. They equivalized you to Chancey Gardener… the fictional character from the movie Being There. What do you say about that?”

“Well. Firstly of all. These is some question as to whether it was in fact WikiLoads, or a foreign currency that hackneyed into my email accountant. Everyone can pick and choose the odd email that makes you look concept. But my trick record speaks for themselves. Our trucking software company is at the dawn of some dusky light at the end of a busy day. Harold, do you have a question?”

“It is reported that you are spending more time monitoring Tweets than you are in running the business. What do you say to your critics?”

“I really don’t get overly discerned with those critic schisms. Besides, I tweet as you mentioned… I really don’t like to talk to critics unless I am attending some press circumference like today”

“Some of your harshest critics say that you are out of touch with reality – that you don’t really know what is going on in your trucking software company and that the industry itself is way beyond your comprehension.”

“Well, some people can’t comprehend my apprehension of the industry. It creates tension and causes people to lose their attention, so I like to mention …um …um …that. Um… could you move just move just a little bit to the side… I think I just found Ditto over there by the drapes. Hey there’s Aerodactyl!”

“Mr. President, Mr President …..”

“Yes… you… you with…no, no – not you… you with the wings and the flying dragon mouth!”

“Ah Mr, President – you need to put down your phone… I think you are seeing one of the Pokemon Go characters in the press corps.”

“Oops… oh… my heavens. Well then – I will call on Bill, Bill!”

“Yes Mr. President. As you know, taking over the reins of a trucking software company can be challenging. It can put certain pressures upon you and your family. Do you think you might be succumbing to those pressures and slipping into to some sort of Augmented Reality?”

“Yes, ruining a trucking software country can be challenging at times. As you say, it’s too much pressure saying I may be second coming to it. But yes, as I was walking around the west lawn of our offices last night looking for Chansey I realized just how much of a road toll it had been taking on my hearth. Left me breathless and adding fuel to the fire. Yes… you over there.”

“Mr. President. It has been said that you rarely have an original thought. That you merely read things from tele-prompters and that many of your speeches have been written by rank amateurs who plagiarize the lines and words from the speeches of other famous people. How do you respond to that?”

“First of all, I respond very carefully to that. Yes, I do use tele-promoters but sometimes the deals they have are just so amazing. They really are. You can see the ticker at the bottom of the screens and they only give you so much time to act. You have to buy quickly.  And so – I say to you my fellow Softwarians ‘Ask Not What You Can Do for the Company… Ask What You Can Do for Me”. I am going to make Trucking Software great again. I am going to build a security wall around our application so great… so great… that you won’t know what hit you.”

One last question.

“Mr. President. It is reported that your trucking software company is trying to do something different…trying to be more human, trying to truly understand that reality of your customers and then build innovative software applications, and partner with other innovative technologies, that makes their lives easier. It is said that your trucking software company also likes also to have fun and can sometimes be irreverent. It is said that you want to help ‘put the wind at the back’ of your customers and help them achieve the potential of their business and the potential in their lives. And in the same way for your people – the folks who work in the business… that in working at Tailwind that they will be able to self- actualize. What do you say to this?”

“Yes – these are my actual eyes. Thank you ladies and gentlemen, I am now going to head off on vacation and snorlax a bit.”