Blah, Blah, Blah Blog

Murray Pratt Blog, Humor

Image of the word "Blah" written multiple times

blahblahI really haven’t got anything to say in this blog.

I mean its tough coming up with topics all the time. It’s not like you can just make things up… it’s not like you are riding to work in the morning, weaving through traffic, and suddenly you see a sign or something and then you get an initial seedling of an idea for a full blog.

It’s not like you can listen to some song on the radio, or some topic on the radio talk show, and figure out… ’hey, that might be a good idea for a blog’.

More likely you are just sitting in traffic glancing over to some guy searching for a nugget of gold in his big proboscis, telling yourself something like

‘Man, is this all there is? Tell me there is something more to life than this’.

I mean we are all born with what the Latins called a ‘Tabula Rasa’.

According to Wikipedia (donate! donate!)... the definition of Tabula Rasa is this.

“Tabula rasa (/ˈtæbjələ ˈrɑːsə, -zə, ˈreɪ-/) refers to the epistemological idea that individuals are born without built-in mental content

Some people like me have even gone on to refine that even further… adding a good dose of poor nurturing to the already messed up ‘nature’ we were all given… er… not given.

You see –  it’s sort of like we have we are just driving our truck around endlessly with an empty load in the back… trying desperately to find something that we can pick up and deliver. I can see it now

Tabula  Rasa Trucking Corporation‘If you can’t find it, we certainly don’t know where it is either’.

I am going to try and write another one of my blogs and take it over to Brad, our marketer’s, desk and he is going to say..

‘Thanks, I will read this and get back to you’.

And after he has had his Starbucks Latte with a shot of Caramel at 175.67 degrees, he is going to get back to me and say something like this.

‘What the heck is this blog all about? I mean if you are going to blog for Tailwind, you have to at least put in some key words. Like we need either a Trucking Software reference, a Freight Broker Software reference, even a Dispatch software reference…. but the blog you submitted has no reference at all! It doesn’t even have a purpose… there isn’t really a beginning, or some sort of set up, it doesn’t build, and it certainly doesn’t have one of those zippy endings. I can’t work with this… I can’t work with this’.

Then he’ll go back to reading the latest issue of GQ magazine tucked inside his Advertising Age rag.

I now realize why they have so many bench clearing brawls in baseball. They are simply bored. They are bored with 162 games and endless amounts of batting practice and fielding practice. No wonder someone decides to throw a ball at the head of one of batters.

They are suffering from the same problem I am. They just don’t have a topic… something meaningful, something that would advance the common knowledge of mankind. Something that someone would add to Wikipedia… even inserting the word ‘epistemological’ into its definition.

I remember interviewing a guy once who was applying for a sales job for selling CRM software. Apparently he was a teacher at one time and he mentioned that fact when he responded to one of my questions with this….

“Oh….that wasn’t really part of my epistemology”?

I didn’t know whether I had to consult with a Latin Professor or an Urologist on that one. But it’s safe to say that I didn’t hire him because 1) I have never met a good salesperson who used the word ‘epistemology’ and 2) if he joined our sales meetings I would always be thinking that I had to go for a bathroom break.

It is amazing to see what you can do to fill in your time in between the leads coming in. You can read articles on the internet. And you should have two types of web pages up on your computer.

One which has all the lines scores for the previous night’s baseball games and another which is Gartner Group’s review of vertical software applications in the trucking industry. Depending on who comes to visit you in your work station, you just click on the appropriate tab.

Hey… that way you can actually have a topic ‘at the ready’ for your visitor.

If your fellow sales colleague comes in you can hit the baseball tab and say

“Hey Bob, how about those Cubbies!”

And if you boss walks in, you can click on the Gartner tab and say something like…

“Epistemologically speaking sir, when Gartner puts you in the upper right quadrant for the industry, do you believe that customers will see that as adding credibility to our unique value proposition?”

The only thing with that is that in using key words of ‘Gartner’ and ‘unique value proposition’… that is like foreplay for a senior executive. He is all about strategy and conquering new territories or becoming the 800lb gorilla in ‘their space’. He will see it as an invitation to a 20 minute conversation with you where you have to come up with all sorts of other great words. But if you can handle those 20 minutes with aplomb and finesse you will be so ahead in your career. He will leave your office thinking…

‘Man… that guy is SO ON TOPIC. He doesn’t miss a thing.’

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